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step program kept him out of bars and in golf shoes
Windsor StarPublished:ÂWednesday, June 13, 2007
I quit drinking and took up golf. My self-improvement program only had two steps and I didn't have to apologize to anyone. Step 1) Stay out of bars,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Step 2) Go to the range.
I'm not sure if it's improved my game but it's done wonders for my home life. I used to come home late on Fridays with beer breath and disjointed stories. Now that I'm hitting balls instead of the bottle, I come home with takeout and tales of glory from Tecumseh Golf.
I don't see good friends as often as I used to and the sober conversations we do have are not nearly as robust or provocative as they were when they evolved erratically over pitchers of beer. On the positive side, I can now remember them.
View Larger ImageWindsor Star Staff Reporter Don McArthur poses with his golf gear at the Tecumseh Golf Centre. But, for me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it required a complete restructuring of my social life. Alcohol was the glue that held my relationships together and the elixir that gave them life. Right from the beginning,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], alcohol affected me differently than other people.
Three days before my 18th birthday - thank goodness for the Young Offender's Act - I was charged with mischief after drunkenly putting my fist through a bank window. Part of my punishment involved counselling and writing an essay on alcohol abuse but those lessons never stuck.
I was suspended from high school when I was too wasted to get on the bus to take me to my prom. University was a blur and my 20s weren't much clearer. I've been ticketed multiple times for public intoxication, thrown in drunk tanks and issued warnings for impaired driving. I didn't just flirt with trouble in those days, I wooed her fiercely with roses and poems.
I've pulled more drunken boners than I care to remember and many,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I'm sure, that I don't. But I had good times too,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], loads of them. That's what makes it so hard to quit and stay dry. Some of my fondest memories revolve around alcohol. Who's kidding who,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if it wasn't for alcohol,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I might still be a virgin. The sauce certainly helped take a few edges off. Legend holds the literary greats found their muse at the bottom of a bottle and every experience, no matter how base, can be justified in the name of finding fodder for your masterpiece. Toss in an addictive personality and you've got a toxic mix.
I've wandered into church basements filled with regret after miserable nights and shaken the hands of other drowning men. AA's done a lot of good for a lot of people, but the 12 steps of AA always seemed insurmountable. I found the program's emphasis on a higher power offputting and the required admission of helplessness anathema to my philosophy of free will and choice. I'd leave those meetings determined to change my ways but would falter as soon as memories of the last hangover faded.
But my golf program is proving to have staying power. All that time I used to spend thinking about drinking, drinking and recovering from drinking is now devoted to golfing and improving my game. I find peace and power in the simple, solitary act of hitting golf balls. I see beauty in the stillness of the struggle. It's like a religion for me. I confess I have merely replaced one addiction with another but this addiction, aside from occasional back pain, is a healthy one.
I lift weights, jog,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stretch regularly and,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], lately, have taken to meditating the night before a big game. I stare into a candle and try to visualize myself on the course, swinging easy, finding the fairway and draining putts for birdie and par. I'd like to think I'm saving money by steering clear of the bars but I don't think that's the case. Golf, when you approach it with ferocity like I do, can be an expensive game. Now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], though,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I have something more than a hangover to show for my money. A wedge. A shirt. A tip from the pro.
My goal is to break 80 and when that happens - and it will - I'll set a new goal and pursue it with the same focus and sense of purpose. Whether I achieve it or not is beside the point. It's not about the summit, it's about the climb. Sisyphus pushed a boulder up a hill. I guess I'll push a golf ball.
My program has hardly been an unqualified success story. I've slipped up and I'll probably mess up again. But falling off the wagon doesn't mean I have to pitch face first into the gutter,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. A backward step doesn't negate all my forward progress,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Our failures shouldn't define us. They should instruct us and inspire us to greater heights,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
We are what we do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not what we've done. Nothing we do can change the past but we can define our future with the decisions we make today. Our choices are our footsteps and the path is ours to choose. Every sunrise provides us a fresh opportunity to redefine ourselves, our world and our place in it. It's all on us and it's up to you.
What are you going today to improve your life and make this world a better place? I'm going to lay off the sauce and whack golf balls. What choices are you going to make? I'd suggest you start by following your dreams. If you let your dreams follow you, they're called regrets.
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