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Posted: Mon 16:38, 26 Aug 2013 Post subject: Offering Children Choices The Secret To Raising In |
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Offering Children Choices The Secret To Raising Independent Children LadyPens
I just spent the weekend with my 2 year old niece. My kids are now older and I forgot how much fun it is to spend time with a toddler. They say the funniest things. I had also forgotten that all 2 year olds to do it myself! That seemed to be a recurrent theme these past few days. Mara wanted to pick out her own clothing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], put on her own shoes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and climb up and down our steep basement steps herself.
We all know that Mara behavior is not unusual. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we may not be aware that Mara behavior is not just cute. It represents a basic deep human need that all children and adults have. The need to be independent. Being independent helps you feel that you have some control over your decisions and your fate. It is empowering to be able to think for yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], take care of yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and know how you can survive in this world. It is the basis for people self-respect and belief in self.
Although children like that they have parents who take care of them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they often will fight for their independence. Early on,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], children want to make their own decisions and have control over their lives. This is the cause of many power struggles and conflicts between parents and their children.
When parents communicate with their children they should recognize the need that children have for independence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Parents should help children feel in charge within a safe framework,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The best way to do that is to give children choices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Giving children choices teaches them how to make decisions and builds their self esteem. They learn to develop problem solving skills,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This makes them feel more powerful and in control of their lives.
Many parents have a hard time using this parenting technique appropriately. Parents will often give their children choices that are not really choices at all. They will say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], can wear your coat or not come with us for ice cream! can play with your brother nicely or spend the day in your room! These choices force children into obeying. They do not reinforce or support a child need for independence.
In order to help children feel in charge and build their self-respect parents need to give children 2 positive choices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
you want to go outside with your winter jacket or your heavy sweatshirt? you think you can share your blocks or your trucks with your brother? children to positive choices helps children think for themselves,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It allows children to exercise their decision making skills and focuses them on the task at hand,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Offering choices shows respect for a child need for independence. Read our full Terms of Service.
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